If You Want People To Trust You, Do This
If you’ve ever been picked last, missed out on promotions, weren’t even considered for an opportunity or didn’t get the buy in, may it be figuratively or financially, chances are - the decision maker didn’t trust you.
Good news?
You can change that if you want people to trust you - there’s one thing you need to focus on. Curious what it is? Then this blog post is for you!
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I always say: as much as people buy competence, they buy even more so in the confidence in people. I’m sure you can think of someone straight away who just radiates confidence and guess what? This is what we’re drawn to. May it be to a leader, a romantic partner or a service provider.
Their confidence makes us feel comfortable and confident in their abilities and they do the best for our benefit.
I remember very vividly when I was at primary school and we had to form teams in sport - I was always picked last. Not only was I overweight but also the shyest kid in the school so the level of trust that I can help the team win, was very low (more so: not existing).
This wasn’t the only incident that I’ve experienced - I missed out on many promotions, opportunities and experiences simply because I showed the opposite of confidence. That leads us into today’s topic: we can’t be trusted by others, if we don’t trust ourselves. Becoming a Trusted Authority doesn’t just happen. It’s an intentional process and it starts with your mindset. You can have all the credentials and accolades in this world and still not be trusted by others. Trust comes from confidence and confidence comes from clarity - clarity about the results you can achieve based on the combination of your credentials (meaning: your expertise) and your characteristics (your personality). This is what makes you authentic and with that, unique. Trying to compete on credentials makes you a commodity as title and years of experience have become the norm. Adding your personal spin on how you can create the changes and the results for others - this is where the magic happens.
Ok- so far so good. Now we know that confidence is a key skill whether others trust us (and with that, choose us over others or not).
But how do we go about getting this confidence?
‘Just do it’ - is the worst advice that I hear people giving.
It’s easier said than done so let’s clarify what confidence actually means: it’s when you understand your strengths and weaknesses, how you can leverage them, what you need to learn or develop and who you need to be surrounded by to be and do your personal best, today and tomorrow. This is also an important factor because no one knows what tomorrow brings. Having the confidence to figure it out, spotting gaps and adjusting based on those changes is what makes us not only future-proof but also very in demand.
Adaptability is one of the key skills in this fast changing world of work but you can only adapt when you know what value you can create. And this starts with understanding yourself and the skills you’ve acquired over time. You’ve heard me talking a lot about the importance of being the translator if you want to become the Trusted Authority and that means that you;re able to translate how your credentials (the wayt) and your character (your how) can create changes that are relevant for others. Adaptability is easier when you’re aware of your transferable skills and that comes from reading between the lines.
Let’s say you’ve got an accounting degree - we’ve already seen the impact of digital transformation in accounting (and in every other industry really). And whilst initially there was a lot of talk about the profession being replaced by technology, reality is that it’s more important to be adaptable and leevareg technology as supporting system which means that rather than doing the repetitive tasks, accountants will focus more and more on problem solving based on recognising patterns, communicating with their clients and think creatively of new ways of improving and running business for their clients. So what does that mean to an accountant? Simply having the qualification to work as an accountant doesn’t mean you have to be one. Transferable skills from this qualification are critical thinking, high attention to detail, time management (as accountants usually work on multiple clients), communication (more specifically: being able to translate data into non-financial jargon but actionable insights.
See how it works? It comes down to you being able to translate your credentials into deliverables and transferable skills. And then of course you want to support your claims with stories, results, case studies and examples working on various projects or industries.
In the end, people trust you when promise meets performance so knowing what it is that you can do (result / outcome) and also how you do it is what makes you trust yourself, show up with more confidence and with that, makes others more confident in you (and attracted to you).
So how you get started?
Get clear on the promise you want to make, aka the conversation you want to lead, the topic/ area of expertise or an outcome you want to be known for. For example: building high performing teams in the construction industry.
When you’re clear about that, the big idea or topic you want to be associated with, it’s time to build capabilities by intentional practicing and continuous learning.
Being a trusted Authority starts with having a strong background in this area, this profession or industry to start with. If you don’t have an existing deep knowledge, you can’t just make things up.
That’s one of the biggest differentiators between an influencer and a thoughtleader. You can be known for a lifestyle and the habits, services and products around it. Many have achieved this status and I think it’s incredible that it’s now possible to create a business around that. The skill required to get there is community building and strong online presence. The work I’ve specialised in is in systemising, packaging and commercialising knowledge and create branded IP around it.
And even when you have a framework to deliver the results, you’re never done. You always want t o build your capabilities by upskilling but also by being proactive with aching for feedback.
Finally - it comes down to practise, practise, practise.
Confidence comes from relying on your strengths and skills to show up when you need them so practising is key. If you want to get into speaking- you speak, at every occasion. Also - i’f probably say - especially when noone is watching or listening. If you want to become a better content creator, you create.
Every day.
No matter if you get engagement or not. It’s easy to show up when things are all good and people cheer you up. The real magic happens when you do it regardless because then you know you haven’t only found your sweet spot but you can outperform others who only show up when things go well.
So there you go! If you want others to trust you and have the confidence in you being the best person for whatever it may be, you need to first trust yourself and be confident in being able to deliver those results. It comes from awareness, from focus and from intentional practising.
