3 Secrets of Highly Confident, Cut Thorough and Captivating Speakers

Change your words and you change your worlds. As much as this is true for our own mindset and how we speak to ourselves, it certainly applies to how we speak to others.

Whether you’re in a leadership position and your job is literally to inspire high performance, want to create change as an individual contributor or impact on a larger scale as keynote speaker or facilitator, being captivating and confident in your communication style is key. Whilst it is a bit of an art and science as everyone’s got their own way of communicating authentically and impactfully, there are some general principles that professional speakers share and as I just attended and spoke at 2 of the biggest industry conferences, it is a good time to take you behind the curtain. 

I’m literally sitting in the airport lounge, waiting for my flight from Vancouver to Brisbane after I spent most of March in the US to firstly attend a conference, then meet a few clients mixed with sightseeing in San Fran before heading back to San Diego to speak at the career thought leaders consortium (which was the catalyst for the trip) and since I love SMMW in 2020 so much, I thought why not make it nearly a month and worth the long flight?

And now on this 5h stop over (which should have been 7h but our first flight got delayed), I’m mapping out the next few months of content and since at least 70% of my clients want to improve their public speaking skills (either to be an actual keynote speaker or to simply be a better communicator for their teams and clients.

Whatever camp you’re in, I promise this episode is for you as I share some of the ‘secrets’ that professional speakers have to make sure to capture the audience, inspire different thinking (which is a challenge in itself) but of course to leave a long-lasting impact with their message.

I never thought I’d ever be paid to speak, especially since I’m not a native English speaker, nearly failed English at high school 4 years in a row and struggled big times with the Aussie accent when I came to Brisbane 12 years ago. In fact so much that I literally just smiled and nodded my head for probably the first 6 month because I didn’t understand a word (and that’s after learning English for 12 years at that point).

Anyway – whilst this detail isn’t relevant as such, it should give you the confidence that public speaking can be learned, also when you don’t consider yourself to be a strong speaker. Just yet.

But it does require some level of commitment and also practise. A few weeks ago – when I prepared for another big keynote – I recorded a timelapse practising and rehearsing the speech. That’s the not so glam side of public speaking. The casual jokes, perfectly timed gestures and pauses to either let a story or statement sink in or give time for the audience to laugh (or maybe cry) doesn’t just happen.

It’s a by-product of rehearsing or having given speeches for a long time.

Of course, there are some naturals who simply show up and nail their presentation and sometimes we see people who rise to the occasion and don’t seem nervous at all. Their thoughts and words seem to flow effortlessly.

And I’d say good on them but that’s not my experience when I started speaking (and from working with nearly 600 clients at this stage, it isn’t the usual experience for them either).

So first things first- speaking isn’t speaking and not all types of speeches are the same.

While we all can speak, giving a keynote presentation or facilitate a strategy day or run transformational workshops is a different level of speaking.

There is a good reason why keynote speakers have a higher rate than trainers or facilitators who educate on a certain framework or teach a specific methodology. Keynotes and pitches are designed to change minds, to inspire to take actions and to leave the long-lasting impression that triggers referrals, testimonials and of course, the required action you want participants to leave with. For some it might be to buy into a new idea and get funding for it. For others it might be to enrol in a program when a coach or consultant speaks. For others it's the team buy in for the company’s vision, so they give their discretionary effort.

So now we know the difference, let’s focus on what makes speaker remark- and rememberable because in the end, if your goal is to become the Go-To, the Trusted Authority in your field, (which I’m assume you’re because why would you listen to this otherwise?), then this is what you want to focus on.

1.     Learn to control your emotions

Since our mindset and our thoughts dictate our behaviours and actions we take which then create the result, the one thing that makes all the difference is an invisible one and that’s the way you speak to and with yourself.

Truth told, most – if not everyone – gets nervous or has the doubting thoughts creeping in, no matter how experienced or senior you’re.

Fun story – the first keynote that I gave at the Career Thought Leaders Symposium I have given probably at least 30x at this stage. Not exactly in that order as I still tailor my content to the audiences that I’m speaking to to make it more relevant to them buuuut the core essence hasn’t changed. Now my first keynote was the closing session for day 1 before heading into breakout sessions and the kick off and closing keynotes are the most important sessions in a conference or event day as one sets the tone and the other leaves the audience with final ideas and thoughts but also with emotions.

Now as I said – I had given this keynote many times before and yet, all of a sudden over the weekend, prior to the Monday session, I started to doubt everything. Is the content advanced enough, does the flow make sense, is it too much content?   

I changed probably 70% of the keynote and rehearsed the edited version eventually to only come back to my original one as it did make the most sense. And yet- my emotions got the better of me and made me doubt everything. Why? Because the only thing that was the difference was the audience. To date, I’ve only given the keynote to my clients and students However, this crowd at the conference are industry peers and some have 25+ years’ experience so of course they have a different level of knowledge, they understand the technicalities behind coaching for career and leadership development, they’ve experienced the good and bad with client relationships. And that was the difference.

What didn’t make the situation easier was the kick off keynote which was next level good. Vaneesa Johnson – an award-winning professional speaker – gave an outstanding speech, taking the audience through all the emotions (which by the way – is a good sign of what makes a remarkable speech as emotions make us remember things and people). I literally thought it’s time for me to pack up and leave haha, she was that good.

What got me out of my little negative spiral thinking was that it wasn’t about me, it was about the message that I was about to share that I know from working with at this stage nearly 600 1:1 clients and nearly 100 TA students that it can massively impact their career and quite frankly also their lives and this is what I’m here for.

And this brings me into point 2:

2.     Confident speakers believe in their message

As much as trust in your abilities comes from firstly trusting yourself before others trust you, the same applies to speakers:

A confident speaker is someone who, first and foremost, knows to their core that their message makes an impact and people need to hear it.

And this confidence in your message comes from 2 aspects: firstly, it is built, step-by-step, from our previous successful experiences, and can be boosted and improved as time goes on. Everything you say and teach can be backed by both, stats (which triggers the logical part of the brain) and stories (which speak to the emotional part of the brain).

And secondly: through practise, practise, and practise.

As important your content is, the way of delivery plays a massive role in how the audience perceives it. I’ve mentioned the 7/38/55 communications model before that provs that only 7% of what an audience remembers is the content itself. 38% comes from the tone and voice and this is where practise comes in. Taking intentional breaks at various stages in the speech, adding a funny statement or even a joke, purposely repeating a full sentence or high lightening a particular number again – this is what cuts through the noise and comes from practise.

I mentioned earlier than I’d given this speech 30+ before but what I haven’t mentioned yet is the at least other 20 times when I rehearsed and practised it. From initially presenting with the slides and speaking to an audience of 0 (although I usually timelaps it so I create content at the same time but that’s a topic for another time) to going through it again on my run or swim because this shows me how much I remember especially the transitions which I focus on practising the most.

People pick up on the flow of the content and if it makes sense. Jumping back and forth and risking getting completely off track by telling an unrelated story can be very distracting and when it’s not something you are confident with bringing the audience back and potentially even calling yourself out, it can quickly result in losing the audience and to be honest- this is my worst nightmare when I speak but also attend a speech: that I feel it was waste of time and I can’t remember anything valuable. To avoid it, practising the keynote a few times can make all the difference. Think of Steve Jobs – his so seemless spontaneous pitches and launches have been rehearsed to the smallest detail. This is what makes it so seemliness so don’t be fooled by others who say that just put together a few slides on the morning off and just wing it. And even if- there is the saying: amateurs wing it, professionals prepare, and this is very true especially if you’re aiming to get paid the big bucks for those engagements. Can you make $1k, $5, $10k+ with a keynote? You sure can but not many get into the very high ranges because most are not prepared to do what it takes to get there and do the not so glam parts of the job.

3.     Connect studies with stories

I briefly mentioned it earlier that the power is in delivering relevant content that is supported by stats, figures, and logic but also by stories which can be your own experiences or someone who’ve worked with or has a direct correlation with your message. Trainers and facilitators usually focus on content and knowledge transfer only rather than inspiring different thinking and that requires a rattling of the belief system which we know- isn’t an easy undertaking.

In my keynotes, when I talk about the Trusted Authority and the changed role an authority has in today’s and tomorrow’s world of work, I always have a slide that says: ‘Credibility is the currency of knowledge. Trust is the currency of influence.’ I call this a voice bit because it’s easy to remember and it’s a statement that doesn’t need a lot of explanation to make a big impact. Now this slide comes after the fact that I talk about how the world of work has changed, how much access we have to knowledge and information these days and that decision makers, may it be employers (especially senior leaders) or clients, don’t want more transaction. They want transformation which means that whilst we live in an age of knowledge, we work in an economy of wisdom and knowledge alone doesn’t guarantee success. ANYMORE. This is an important add on as it used to be the key to the kingdom. But hopefully you see that an impactful keynote has a very intentional logic that is supported with stories that the audience can relate to and wants to buy in when stats, facts and figures are presented.  

I give you an example when it goes south:

At one of the 2 conferences, I don’t want to disclose which one, one of the speakers was preaching on the importance of video on LinkedIn and especially the cover story, you know the talking head that pops up if you’ve activated Creator mode on LinkedIn before it changes to the static image again. However, when one person in the audience asked how to set it up, the speaker admitted that they hadn’t done it themselves (nor did they do it straight afterwards with the audience to demonstrate their expertise) but when I dug deeper, this particular speaker hasn’t even published an actual video on the feed themselves. Now you can bet how quickly I lost trust and also the credibility that I initially connected with the speaker because I’m a big believer of walking the walk and I’d never recommend anything that I not only tried myself but have actual results, no matter if they’re good or bad, before I recommend to do the same or even worse, train on that topic.